Dinée Dorame: Dar un paso atrás y seguir adelante
This blog post is written by our Contributors Circle member Dinée Dorame. You can read more about Dinée in her first Contributors Circle blog post. Through the Contributors Circle, we aim to empower and serve the holistic running experience. In the coming months we will welcome additional members to the Contributors Circle, which focuses on under-represented communities.
When you last heard from me in August, I was enthusiastically preparing to toe the line at the 2022 TCS New York City Marathon this November. In that blog post, I shared reflections about my own personal running journey and podcast, as well as my hopes for finishing my first-ever marathon this year. I also briefly noted an injury I dealt with back in 2021. One that I thought I had fully healed and moved on from. However, over the past few months, those same pains re-emerged and forced me to take a huge step back. I continue to struggle with a case of hallux limitus (stiffness and inflammation in the joint that connects the big toe and the foot) and some jarring pain in my posterior tibial tendon. Unfortunately, this means I’ll be pulling out of this year’s marathon, pressing pause on training, and focusing on getting healthy again.
Dealing with Injury and Chronic Pain
So, what do you do when the goal you’ve been so passionately pursuing and waiting to take on for years is no longer be possible? It’s easy to be hard on yourself and feel guilt for making a choice to not participate in something (I know I certainly felt that way). Injury and/or chronic pain is something many runners have encountered and it can be frustrating to feel like you’ve had your plans derailed. It’s hard to put into words how discouraging it feels to stop mid-training cycle, let alone deal with the same problem more than once in a very public way. For me, running has always been an outlet and stress reliever but perhaps more importantly, it’s inextricably linked to my identity and culture as a Diné (Navajo) woman. Running builds discipline, connects us to the land and Diyin Diné (the Holy People), and helps us offer prayer and medicine. I’ve been running since I was a kid, following in the footsteps of my parents at track meets, road races, and on dirt trails. So when I’m not running, I don’t feel like myself.
If you are a listener of the Grounded Podcast with Dinée Dorame, you will likely know that my chronic pain has been a big part of my lifelong running journey. I come from a family of runners, where I always felt like an outlier, spending the better half of the last decade trying to understand my foot pain and learning about the limitations involved in my own physical conditions. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional! But I do know that most of my pain stems from having anatomically flat feet and an accessory navicular bone in each foot (an extra bone that sits on the inner center arch). Not all individuals with accessory navicular bones experience major problems. Unfortunately for me, it leads to painful symptoms in my arches after any weightbearing activity–swelling, inflammation, soreness. Since I was a teenager, I’ve had several doctors simply recommend that I “find another hobby” or undergo major surgery due to having accessory navicular syndrome. That was always such a devastating suggestion because running and sports in general meant so much to me–culturally, physically, and spiritually. I continued to play sports and run throughout the years without much more than your standard treatments (rest, ice, elevation) to help alleviate pain. This became my normal.
It can be odd to deal with chronic pain as a younger person, because it means I spent most of my twenties wondering if I would be able to stay active, constantly worrying about “sensible” footwear, and calculating how long I could be on my feet each day before the deeper pain set in. Obviously, this wasn’t ideal as a runner with goals to complete a marathon. Was that new soreness a sprain? Is the swelling today something I should be worried about? I would often find myself wondering if, in pursuit of doing something for my mental and physical health, I was actually hurting myself. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to make some adjustments around training and learn to adapt to the rhythm of my body.
Shifting Mindset and Finding a Support System
I went through periods of denial over the years, sometimes forcing myself to run through the pain so I could stay connected to the sport I love so much (I definitely don’t recommend this). I don’t do this anymore. I have worked hard to listen to my body’s signals and switch my routine or reach out to a doctor when necessary. I’ve learned valuable lessons about how important it is to seek medical care and ask for help when you need it, rather than trying to do it alone. As I’ve gotten older, I realized I couldn’t just use that “tough it out” method any longer. My doctor reminds me that a strong foot leads to a strong gait, and that it’s possible to run with the right routine, care, and management. I take it slow, cross-train, and give my doctor honest feedback that will help her adjust my plan.
This experience has also helped me realize that when I’m not physically running, I can still write, podcast, and share in the experience in different ways. I’ve leaned on others in the running community for encouragement around injury and setbacks. I’ve been able to share my story in writing. I’ve used this time to cheer on friends and families in their own running. I’ve learned that I still have a place in running, even when my movement looks different.
Running as Medicine
As a Navajo runner, I know that to run also means to heal. Running is medicine, but so is rest and self-care. To sustain myself as a Navajo person and as a runner, I know that I must not be so hard on myself and use this time to recover. Running will always be there, in its many forms, to help connect me to family, culture, and community. If you are also dealing with an injury or with something unexpected, I hope reading this blog post helped serve as a reminder to take it slow and be kind to yourself.
While I won’t be racing this November, I’ve still loved sharing these stories in partnership with NYRR. I’m still planning to be in New York City for all marathon weekend festivities, so look out for my next blog post which will include important events, highlights, and updates for Native American Heritage Month!
Follow Dinée at @dinee_pink22 and @groundedpod.